beat-esque

I woke up early today. It’s sad to know that I spent my whole weekend nights sleeping in, not even an ounce of beer or liquor entered my pure and un-crude body. I’m used to waking up with hangovers on Saturday and Sunday morning, but not today or yesterday. I feel fresh and headache free. It’s a great feeling. I just wished I didn’t have to spend the whole day at work at a meaningless job. I really can’t approve of this job for myself. I fold clothes, fold more clothes, and fold more clothes. I remember I used to be a deputy clerk at the Cameron County Courthouse getting my 40 hours on a constant schedule and getting paid. Maybe I wasn’t ready to move out of my house yet.

It was a long and tiring week, driving down an early morning for thanksgiving can be tiring and meaningless just to have to drive back up, it can really do a number on you. I do have to say, though, it was well damn worth it getting to hang out with familial people and old good friends and seeing my pet cat and driving around the place I grew up in. I can’t help but to think how comfortable and heart warmed I felt, as pointless as thoughts can be. It only burns the memories I had or add more meaningless ones. The food was great and the holiday itself is splendid. I did see changes in it all, everything. The distance between the sun’s and moon’s grow distance from each other, it seems. Like our traditional thanksgiving dinner seemed different. We didn’t pray at the table, which was something my brother seemed to look forward to. We didn’t cut the turkey on the table like our stable family used to do, it was on a slab cut up, though it did make it easier, but it just isn’t the same feeling. I guess maturity and growing up is the next step. As much as I don’t want it to, it seems that’s what it’s all coming to and I can’t do anything to stop it. I guess I’m just rambling like a child. It was great and fun. I drove back two days later because I had to work and study for finals soon to come. I feel drone to life. I’m a raging man trying to break out of meaningless conformity but am brought back in the shell, well, because some have to steal if we want to survive. All i can do is nod my head, the yessirs and yessssmam and mmmm hmmm no prob, loved to, just to survive. Yessssir, sure is great.